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Driving home today after chores in town,
I stopped at the lookout,
remembering,
like I look at the horses (you know the ones),
remembering.

Such a glorious day winter solstice.
Full of cheerful memories.
Feast laden table,
friends,
laughter,
love.

It made me cry,
again.
I hoped it had died,
dried up,
gone far away.

But it hasn’t.

The wounds of your coming
left open
by your leaving.

So far
she was content to listen.
Now
she wants to show herself in the full beauty of her terrifying form
to speak out.

Wants to stand naked in wind and rain,
spin
in a dizzying dance under a million stars,
bathe in blood and sweat,
sing
shriek
roar
howl.

That is why
you do not sing
or laugh,
terrified as you are she might join with you.

She wavers,
trembling hand
blindly searching for yours.

Out of primordial darkness her lips brush your face
whisper your true name.

The one you refuse to say.

Feathers and fur cover your skin
yet
you pull them off

to appear human.

Bisher
war sie zufrieden zuzuhören.
Jetzt
will sie sich zeigen in der vollen Schönheit ihrer furchterregenden Form
um zu sprechen.

Will nackt in Wind und Regen stehen,
kreisen
in einem schwindelnden Tanz unter Millionen von Sternen,
baden in Blut und Schweiss,
singen
schreien
brüllen
heulen.

Darum
singst du nicht
oder lachst,
ängstlich wie du bist, dass sie einstimmen könnte.

Sie zögert,
zitternde Hand
sucht blind nach deiner.

Aus der ursprünglichen Dunkelheit streifen ihre Lippen dein Gesicht
flüstern deinen wahren Namen.

Den, den du dich weigerst auszusprechen.

Federn und Fell bedecken deine Haut
doch
du reisst sie aus

um menschlich zu erscheinen.

Grateful thanks to Miriam McDonald for her expert criticism and mentorfriendship.

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